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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29933001">Feelings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Themultifandomtrash/pseuds/Themultifandomtrash'>Themultifandomtrash</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anorexia, Anorexic Peter Parker, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Eating Disorders, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Sad with a Happy Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:33:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>463</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29933001</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Themultifandomtrash/pseuds/Themultifandomtrash</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A 5+1 fic about Peter Parker's feelings. Five times he isn't in a good place, and one where that may change. I wrote this when I wasn't in a good place and figured I'd post this anyways. Please don't read if you're have any mental health related triggers!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Feelings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Again, please just close this if you know it'll trigger you.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter feels empty.</p><p>Every day is the same. He wakes up disoriented. He never knows what day it is, but it usually ends up being a school day. These go on forever. He gets up, grabs the first shirt he sees and yesterday's jeans, and heads to school. Afterwards, he patrols until he exhausts himself enough to fall asleep. The cycle repeats.</p><p>Peter feels full.</p><p>He's been skipping breakfast lately. He tries to skip lunch. It's easier when he eats alone at school. At first, Ned seemed worried. Now, he sits at Betty's table and doesn't even look in his direction anymore. He likes it better when May doesn't pack him any lunch, he feels bad when he throws it away. The day's effort is wasted when he comes home from patrol and eats an entire pack of chips because it was the first thing he saw when he opened a drawer in the kitchen.</p><p>Peter feels numb.</p><p>At patrol, he's stopped caring about using his body as a physical barrier between people in a fight. He slips up more and more often. He gets punched, cut, kicked. When he comes home, he relives it all, and watches as the blood pours from the punishment he gives himself for eating too much. It's not a punishment anymore. It's the only thing that allows him to fall asleep.</p><p>Peter feels overwhelmed.</p><p>The street lights are too much. His head hurts. Every sound in the background blends together, and he feels like he can't breathe. He swings away from people that need him to crash on top of a random building and crawl into himself. He feels his hands press against his ears until they're numb. Sometimes, that still doesn't help.</p><p>Peter feels scared.</p><p>Every time he swings, he gets an urge to just let go of the web and let himself fall. Every rooftop he stops at makes him tempted to just jump and see what happens. A building falling on him didn't do it. Maybe falling from a building will. He doesn't do it. He doesn't want anyone to have to clean up a mess he left behind.</p><p>Peter feels safe.</p><p>After the feelings come spilling out of him like a waterfall. He's been awake for three days, and he couldn't fake it at the lab anymore. Tony poked at a wound and it began to bleed all at once. But after that, the water settles. The tea mug feels warm against his hands. The blanket weighs down comfortably against his shoulders. He agrees to meet with whoever it is that Tony just talked about. He falls asleep on the couch at Stark tower, and the room is kept warm for him.</p><p>Things are not okay.<br/>But maybe they'll be in the future.</p>
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